pwnedYou heard me: fuck…you.

I can already hear the collective gasps from you OG feminists who haven’t accomplished a goddamn thing since Roe v. Wade. In fact, it’s gotten worst–look what’s happening in some of the more dimwitted states: in Virginia, for example, a woman has to agree to an ultrasound–at HER expense–before she can nod her head and say, “Yep, that there is a fetal alien in my body. Mind if I pay yet another $300 to have it removed before it bursts through my chest and ruins my life?”; in Texas, not only do you have to be medically raped beforehand, you are required to stare at the ultrasound, because they are afraid that if they don’t rub your nose in it, you might accidentally stumble into an abortion clinic (and pay another $300), on and on.

Which is hilarious, because the only thing NOW gives a shit about is women getting their reproductive rights. For decades now, birth control and abortions has been your entire raison d’etre, and it’s easier to buy fucking crack than it is to get on the pill. Yeah, sure–you’ve made people (sorta) aware that women aren’t always raped by that panting perv in a dark alley, but has anything changed? There are still people defending Brock “Rapey Doody” Turner for his near-necrophilia on Emily Doe…and am I the only one who wasn’t surprised that her guardian angels were Swedes?

Women are still free to get the shit beat out of them with only the lamest consequences to their mommy-castrated offenders, but by god, let a woman fire a warning shot well over the asshole’s head and she gets 20…fucking…years. Girls are becoming sexually active at a much younger age without easy access to birth control and pregnant as a result. Or, worse, they do it on purpose, because they want somebody to love them.

Do you hear that, you blind old bitches?? Girls feel so powerless and empty and self-loathing, they believe that the only way they will be worthy is if they invent a whole new human to love them. You fucking FAIL.

Wage gap? Still pathetic. Sexual harassment? Yeah…lotsa luck there, sister. Women in congress? Still rare breeds. Fact is, women are still pretty much toothless in all areas of life. Go ahead and trot out your token wunderkind;  I’ll raise you a million of the oppressed.

You’re old. Stale. Humorless. Unoriginal…and complete cowards. You hear me? FUCK YOU. Fuck you raw, the lot of you.

Once, I thought I would attend a NOW chapter meeting. There was only one problem: I had a young child and had nobody to watch them. So I called you people and asked what sort of childcare would be provided. The young woman stammered, “Uh…we don’t do that”. So I said, “Alright, well, I guess I’ll have to bring them with me”…and I was told that wouldn’t be allowed.

Are you fucking kidding me?? Sure…you love single moms in theory, but you don’t do dick to help them in any concrete way. What are you doing to stop the staggering teen pregnancy, besides whine about access to birth control? Do you ever go into at-risk neighborhoods and mentor young girls so they don’t think they have to have a baby to feel loved? You wealthy bitches–and, let’s face it, a large part of your problem is that you are MANNED (yeah…I said it) by fucking Bryn Mawr graduates who have never been outside of their pampered upper middle-class existence and don’t have a fucking clue as to what the average woman endures–why don’t you fund a scholarship? “Hey, if you don’t get knocked up and graduate from high school, then here is a chance in hell to go to college!”

For that matter, why not offer internships for single moms or women whose sacrificed money and time for husbands who skipped out with a woman half their age? Why don’t you foster beaten women and children? Even the most dedicated battered women’s shelter has a 30-day limit…what the hell chance do they have if they only have 30 days to get their shit together? Fuck the empty rhetoric and give them a fucking chance.

The crux of this problem is that you’re all a bunch of timid Hillary supporters. You’re afraid of change. You’re afraid of getting your hands dirty and, let’s face it, you really don’t want to muck yourself up with those nasty beaten and raped women, because quite frankly, they’re NOKD.

You’re the status quo. Elitist. Self-entitled. Completely clueless, conservative, passive pussies. What you yourself used to call The Establishment. I got a better term for you:

You’re the MAN.

And don’t think I’m done with you; I haven’t even started on you stale bitches. Just you watch.


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